Feeling the neck cramps and back pains from hovering over your keyboard all week? SFG Kettlebell instructor, fitness trainer, creative writing coach, editor and author, Elise Miller, is sharing a few of her favorite desk exercises that are good for the mind and body!
No one ever chose to be a writer in order to get in shape. Writers have to consciously and decisively move around if we want to tone and strengthen our bodies, prevent goo-ification, embolisms and insanity. Ironically, doing so means we have to step away from the computer.
By not exercising in a gym, I can write and train simultaneously. I frequently get stuck, and when I do, instead of growing frustrated, I stop writing and start exercising. Then, when I want to procrastinate working out, I have a novel to work on. Yin and yang, man. YIN AND YANG.
If all you have is a desk and a chair, you can turn any writing (or procrastination) session into a full-body training circuit, that if done consistently (2-3 times per week for your entire writing career) will create sexy, functional muscles and keep your ass from sliding down to your knee creases.
The following exercises can be practiced using a sturdy CHAIR—i.e, nothing that rolls, swivels or tilts unless you’re coveting a broken wrist, which admittedly would be the perfect excuse for putting off your next novel. I suggest pairing exercises—an upper and a lower body exercise—and doing them alternately for however many sets I recommend. Then move on to the next “superset.”
- Bulgarian split squats. Place the chair behind you, a couple feet away. Reach one leg behind you and rest the top of your foot on the chair. Your standing leg is your working leg. Squat down and back until your standing thigh is parallel to the floor. Your non-working leg will bend but the knee shouldn’t hit the floor at the bottom of each rep. Don’t let your front knee jut ahead of your toe. Stand back up, straightening your leg. Do 10 reps on each leg for three rounds.
- Incline pushups. These are just like military pushups but you grasp the edges of the seat to modify the exercise for your fitness level. Make sure your elbows don’t flare straight out to the sides, but track backward toward your hips as you lower your body toward the chair. This is better for your shoulders. Do three rounds of ten reps.
- Pistol squats. Sit on the edge of the chair with a tall, straight spine. Placing one foot on the floor, lift the other leg. Stand up, sticking your non-working leg out in front of you. Sit back down with control, especially those last two inches, when you’ll typically feel compelled to plop onto the seat. If you need to modify, place your non-working heel on the floor and use it as an assistant, without putting too much weight on it. This should feel like a single-leg squat even if you’re modifying. Do five sets of five reps on each leg
- Decline pushups. If you already have strict military pushups in your wheelhouse, decline pushups are for you. If not, you can do this exercise as a decline plank. Put your feet on the chair, hands on the floor, tense your muscles into a nice tight plank, and you’re ready to go. If you want to work your shoulders (and you totally do, right?) walk your hands toward the chair so that your butt raises in the air and your body makes an upside-down letter L. Leading with the crown of your head, complete your pushups. Do five sets of five.
The FLOOR is another great exercise tool, and most writers have one.
- Hard-style plank hold. This is an elbow plank, rather than a pushup style plank. What makes it hard-style is your intensity. Tighten your muscles like crazy. Squeeze your armpits. Press your shoulders away from your ears. Clench your thighs, butt and core. Count to ten slowly and then relax. Do two rounds.
- Squat jumps. If you have healthy hips, knees and ankles, you should be good to go. Start at the bottom of the squat position—shoulder-width stance, thighs parallel to the floor, or lower—and spring out of it, jumping as high as possible. Soften the landing by leading with the balls of the feet, and then the heels. Bend your knees into the next squat as you land, making the movement fluid. Remember to send your butt back, and keep your knees behind your toes. Do two rounds of twenty squat jumps.
You could do this entire circuit as one big workout, or intersperse supersets into your writing day. Experiment, find your personal style, and watch the magic happen, both on the page and on your body.
Happy writing and training!
About the author: Elise A. Miller is the author of the satirical romance Star Craving Mad. Her work has appeared in the anthology Because I Love Her, at nerve.com and freshyarn.com, and in theNorthern Liberties Review, Elephant Journal, and Schuylkill Valley Journal. Miller is also an SFG kettlebell instructor and fitness trainer, as well as a creative writing coach and editor. She lives in Lower Merion, Pennsylvania with one husband, two kids and two dogs.
About the book:
Cynical housewife Eve Myer has two kids, chronic back pain, and a decaying writing career—as well as a stagnant marriage haunted by her husband’s long ago affair.
When a new family moves in next door, Eve becomes consumed with curiosity about beautiful life coach Anna, and with powerful lust for Billy, a sexy alternative healer with a troubled, mysterious past. As Eve begins healing sessions with Billy, an unthinkable tragedy strikes Anna and her small son. Eve’s obsession invites even more suspicion and mistrust into her marriage and as her life unravels, her sessions with Billy intensify, culminating in an alternative, experimental trip deep into the woods—a freezing winter’s journey that threatens the remaining bonds of Eve’s marriage and finally uncovers the reason for Anna’s death.
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